Government Pork

Yesterday was an exciting day at work. Since I have been in my office I can't think of a day that was more action packed. I am speaking of course of the National Pork Producers dinner. It is apparently the place to see and eat copious amounts of pork. Reportedly, most of the Hill shows up for this glorification of the dirtiest of animals. I, being as mindless and sheeplike as the rest of my compatriots, decided that going to this reception would be a great idea.

The event began at six but knowing that it would be crowded I decided that showing up at 5:35 would be in my stomach's best interests. When I got to the door I was, naturally, asked if I had RSVP'd and I, naturally, replied that I had not. I asked if it would be okay to just fill out a name tag and proceed in. This led to questions about the closeness of my office. I was also informed that the event was not scheduled to begin until six, and might I be able to come back later. I informed the kind woman that my office was in another building and asked her if she was instructing me to leave and come back. I never had my question answered and took this as tacit approval of my admission.

So, I am now through the door, but what to do first? The only people in the room at this point were pork producers/lobbyists and little ole me. The line for the pork was a little long so I did what any sensible person on a budget does, and went to the bar. I finally managed to tried a Pilsner Urquell (the only thing they had cold in the indoor bar). I would give it a B. With my frosty beverage in hand I queued and waited for my turn at the pork. I eventually had some rib tips, Frenched pork chops, scrambled eggs with sweet corn, bacon, and cheese, and a ham and some other meat (I assume a type of pork) panini slice. I took this food down fairly quickly, grabbed another beer (Sam Adams (they had them cold on the balcony)) and got back in line. To be tangential for a moment, the setting for the reception was excellent. It was the Agriculture (unsurprising) hearing room. The hearing room has a door that opens to a balcony that overlooks Independence Ave., and by virtue of the building’s placement, the Capitol. As I was saying, I grabbed a Sam Adams and got back in line. I was mostly full at this point, but in exchange for letting me duck out of work before 6:00 I promised a co-worker a plate laden with meat in return. Luckily, the teeming masses showed up as I was about to leave. I managed to abscond with my pilfered meat and no one was the wiser.

An interesting end note, I walked home from work again last night, I was full of pork and it was nice out. And yes, I beat the bus home.

Stay tuned for more news from the city with the most visited museum in the world (for those of you in Paris, that's the Air and Space Museum). (The Paris comment has nothing to do with any prejudices against the French or admirers of the French, simply that is that city that contains the Musée du Louvre. You see, the Louvre is the most visited art museum in the world but the Air and Space Museum routinely boasts more visitors a year (by a couple million.))